A Hero Defeated
by Siren's Bell
Summary: Link can handle anything...except children. Mild Link x Malon. Oneshot.


In his twenty-one years of life, Link had stared death in the face, more times than he cared to think of. He fought and triumphed over witches, dragons, the undead, and even the king of Darkness himself, Ganondorf. He was triumphant and determined in all that he did.

And yet, he stood before this infant child in utter defeat.

White powder smeared across the changing table and the baby cooed happily, his green hat clutched in her tiny fist. She had robbed him of it in one of his most recent and failed attempts at diapering her bare bottom. The hero sighed and touched one of the golden swirls atop the baby's head gently. "You, my fair princess, are too much like your mother." Link took hold of a lightly scented napkin and began his third attempt.

The baby's legs kicked freely and she managed to connect with Link's chin. He was shocked, caught off guard by the forcefulness of her tiny legs. He leaned forward once more to playfully scold the baby girl before her tiny fist managed to catch the silver hoop hanging from his ear.

"AH!" Link lurched forward as the baby squeal happily. With expert fingers, the Hylian managed to remove her chubby hand from around his ear and was thankful to the Goddesses that his earlobe was still intact. The baby giggled and Link couldn't help but smile. "You should feel special, your highness. I wouldn't do this for just any child."

He grinned at the baby as she crammed her fist in her mouth and continued kicking her legs furiously. "That's it. You're going naked." He lifted the child from the table and lightly brushed his lips across her forehead. "I'm sure your mom won't mind. I certainly don't."

The air was split by the sound of laughter and Link turned to see Malon, her hands clasped behind her back and a wide, knowing grin on her lips. "You can defeat evil wizards, but you cannot diaper a child?" she asked in a teasing tone.

Link snorted before placing the bare bottomed child on the changing table once more. "She is impossible. Simply impossible. I don't think it can be done."

Malon grinned before sauntering up to the table. She held the pin between her lips before promptly spreading the powder and fixed the diaper in place, all the while humming away at a familiar tune. Once it was secure with the pin, Malon smiled up at Link. "There's a trick to it, you know." She lifted the baby up and nuzzled the child's cheek gently.

Link huffed and crossed his arms. "Hmm trick indeed. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a father," he said, keeping his gaze low. He was obviously disappointed.

"Don't say that Link. When the time comes and you have your own, you'll be a wonderful father."

He smiled softly before uncrossing his arms, "How did you become such a baby expert, Red?"

Malon smiled before winking up at her friend. "There are certain things women know from instinct. Men are poor, unfortunate creatures that have to learn these things on their own."

"Zelda sent you to save me, didn't she?"

Malon shrugged lightly before dancing around the room with delighted child. "It had been well over fifteen minutes since you disappeared. Zelda was still caught up with the treaty signings and we thought you might have run off with her." She stopped twirling and adjusted the baby girl on her hip. One fat hand still held tightly Link's hat and he sauntered up to the baby.

"May I have that back please?"

She responded with an incomprehensible coo and promptly shoving the green fabric into her mouth. Link grimaced and Malon laughed. "Never mind, your highness. You can keep it."

"I'll sew you another one once we get back to the ranch." Malon grinned before adjusting the baby on her hip once more and making her way to the door. "Come on, Link. Gotta finish unloading the delivery."

Link smiled softly as he watched Malon continue down the dark hall, the baby resting one of her rosy cheeks on her shoulder. What a lovely picture the two made. And the hero couldn't help but think what a wonderful mother she would make one day.

The baby yawned and her bright blue eyes drooped. Malon's hips continued to sway and finally lulled the baby into stillness. Her grip on his hat loosened and fell to the floor with a soft plop.


End file.
